Drive Me Crazy

Everyday at work I encounter SOMEONE that is bound to annoy me. But some days, there is such an overwhelming amount of stupid wandering around my store that I feel the need to detail it.

Your Children. I know that people will say that I will understand when I have kids how hard it is. But YOU have the children and I am not your babysitter. Watch your monkey child. Please don't even try to tell me that you do not see them running from rack to rack TOUCHING EVERYTHING. See how neat the racks look? See how they no longer look like that? That was your kid. There is no one else here. Even as a non-child-haver I can't believe that when you walk into a store you lose all your parental control.

Also? If they had a lollipop? And now they don't? You should wonder where it ended up. Because the bottom of my shoe or the counter top is NOT the place for it. And if you have a child in a stroller and they are eating? And you run over whatever they are eating with said stroller? Do you have any idea how fucking rude it is not to mention it? Like "Hey sorry bout that, didn't mean too." I am understanding. But when you run food over and act like you are fucking entitled to run food over and I should be just THRILLED to clean it up since you are spending $9.99 on a shirt? Blow me.

Oh, and your teenage daughter with you? Teach her to cover her fucking mouth when she coughs. Really? She is doing this open-mouth HACK all over the store. On fixtures that people touch, who will then get sick, and I will get sick. So where are YOUR manners? She has been standing next to you for an hour hacking all over the place. Is it really not bothering you either?

On the flip side, I know that parents ignore their children while shopping as some sort of coping mechanism. But I can not block out your child. And that chorus of Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom? Mom! Mom! Mom! MOM! MOM! MOM! MOOOM! MMOOOOMMMMM!!!!!! I can't block that out. Neither can other shoppers. Your child is annoying. Please acknowledge it. Your child does not understand at 7 years old why Mom "Needs to do something for myself today for the love of GOD!" Don't call them selfish for not understanding. YOU are selfish for dragging a 7 yr old boy to a women's clothing store where there is NOTHING to do. Please note: Things to do do NOT include smearing his face all over the mirror I just cleaned or pulling all the grippers off the hangers. This is not a toy store. Or your home.

Seriously, tell her to cover her fucking mouth before I do. I guarantee that it will not be as pleasant coming from me.

Ask me 17 times what the sale price of something is. Is there a language barrier going on here? Do I speak with an accent or stutter? Cause really, the signs aren't written in Italian. You can quadruple check for yourself. Aren't you embarrassed? Or do you think I am lying?

Come behind the counter like you work here. Really? Do you work here? I am the manager and I don't remember your application. Who the FUCK do you think you are? AND! If you open the closet doors do not be surprised when I slam it shut and direct you back to the other side of the counter. Why do you people act like I am the one being rude? It BAFFLES ME.

Leave clothes all over the floor in the dressing room? With your empty coffee cup sitting on the stool? Do you expect me to believe that you really "forgot it" when I bring it out of the dressing room and point it out to everyone in the store? I don't think so.

Just so you all know, I would be spitting in your drinks if I was a waitress. Consider yourself lucky.