Help!

Christmas Party. Tomorrow. At My House.

Can't. Stop. Panicking.

Creepy Christmas

My landlord slipped a handwritten card under my door. I find this strange. I was wondering if I was the only one that got one. So I may have gone over to my neighbor's door who I know was out of town for the holidays and slipped a letter opener around to see if he has one waiting.

Didn't feel one.

So is this normal? I really want to say no. My friend C said a generic happy holidays! card would have been appropriate but this was just plain weird. I hope I don't have to move.

Now THAT'S a Christmas present!

Sitting on the bridge in Fitchburg

Wasteful

Sitting in traffic trying to get back to work and I'm pretty sure (judging by the smell) the guy in the SUV just threw a lit joint out the window. Doesn't he know we are in the middle of an economic crisis? DO NOT WASTE YOUR POT.

I'd have to delete all the things I wrote about you

My psychologist at the end of my session yesterday: You seemed really tense today. (*It's not that he's terribly perceptive, I was screaming throughout my entire hour) Have you ever tried writing out a letter to let someone know how you feel? Except you don't send it?

Me: Yeah.....except if you're going through all that effort I think you should send it.

Him: That's really not the point.

Me: I'm just saying. I've written things on my blog that make me feel kinda better but...

Him: Oh, you have a blog?

Me: Oh SWEET CHRIST don't look for it.

Him: Why not?

Me: I'd have to delete all the things I wrote about you.

Fitchburg, MA

So some more pics of my neighborhood. This was later in the day of the ice storm and it was pretty cold. This is the side street that I walk down to get to Main St.

This is the front of this little area. No dogs allowed in here though.

You could still see the ice on the trees in the far off distance.

This is a memorial for WWI and it's the middle of the tiny common on Main St.

This is the old armory which is now the senior center. Where we ran into C's parents taking her grandmother because no one had any power. After we came back from a walk there was a bus load of seniors being jammed into the center and onto cots.

Oh the holly jolly season

I'm sitting at a Panara Bread using their Internet to try and get my homework done. But everyone else here is using the Internet so it's very sllloooowww and that just won't do. Also, my computer wasn't really charged and ALL the outlets are occupied. And since the staff at Panara are too busy feeling each other up to enforce the whole "if someone is waiting for a table and you've been here more than 1/2 an hour please move" policy, I am not going to get anything done. Plus it's really hard to concentrate here. Not really because of the people because I put in my headphones to tune them out. But there is one disgruntled employee that has taken out his anger for having to work at Panara in the first place by SLAMMING the cabinet doors where the supplies are kept under the soda machine every time he has to open one. Which apparently is once every 30 seconds. And this isn't a normal SLAM! either. After the 3rd time the SLAM! made me leap out of my seat I looked at him the next time he walked by. Imagine someone bringing their arm back back behind their head and swinging it forward like they were about to bitch-slap the piece of shit that just ran over your dog. Or knocked up your woman. Or took the last mother-fucking straw and you have to refill the straw holder for the TENTH TIME TODAY!

SSSSSSSLLLLLLLAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, he must feel really good about it but I am one more slam away from an anxiety attack. How am I the only one bothered by this? Where is his boss? Oh yeah, he has just come back from his 4th trip to Market Basket since I've been here to purchase bread for Panara BREADS sandwiches.

Two things:

1) Part of the allure of Panara is their delicious bread. So if they are running over to the grocery store to pay $1.50 for a loaf of bread that they will then slap on a $7 sandwich, it kinda feels like a jip. Like, if I wanted that shit bread I would just go home and take it out of my cabinet.

2) Massachusetts just went through an ICE STORM. Hundreds of thousands still don't have power and have to sustain themselves and their families on dry food (Like BREAD) until their power comes on and they can cook again. Doesn't it seem really shitty that a place that is capable of BAKING THEIR OWN BREAD is raping the grocery store out of all of their cheap bread? And then people who went to the grocery store for bread that they no longer have, now have to come over to Panara and pay $7 for some schmuck that slams cabinets to make them a sandwich on that shitty bread?

Ice Storm 12/12/2008

First picture taken of ice storm.

On way into work. Not realizing 600,000 people had lost power because I hadn't.

Main St Fitchburg, MA (On my way home after getting to work and realizing mall was closed.)

Main St.

Not even Jesus was safe apparently.


Close up!


Tree on my street.


On my way to C's house to pick her up since she had no power.

Really?

There were places on the highways where the trees in the middle of the lanes with no cones or crews because they couldn't keep up with all the damage.

Holy Hannah, look at the amount of ice.

C's street. I am such a good friend for braving this to pick her up. Please notice the ice branches leaning on the power lines.

D

I wish D would get off his llllaaaaazzzzzyyyyy butt and make me laugh already. Since (as he makes very clear) I am not as funny as he is. But you know what is funny? Turning away from the video chat for less than a minute and finding D jerking off when I come back.

Normal?

I'm wondering if it's normal to spend an evening with a friend discussing the weird habits the psychologist you share has and despite that; the WEIRD dreams you have about him.

So Unimpressed

With everything and everyone at this point.

Enough With the Fucking Bells Already

It's not that I don't believe in giving to charity. If anything, I am more likely to donate time, money, or presents to a charity or deserving human being rather than to my ungrateful/selfish sister.

It's just that there is a Salvation Army bell ringer outside almost every store I frequent. I couldn't possibly put money in every single one of them. (Not that I'd really want to if we are being totally honest) But nothing really dampens my spirit like being glared at by a mother fucking Bellringer outside the grocery store. (Or Walmart. Or outside every mall entrance. Or inside the mall.)

They are glaring at me like I traipsing past them clutching my shopping bags screaming with delight over all the fantastic treats I just got myself. And how fucking happy I am that I don't have to share them with any stinky-needy families. And that they just watched me push a kid down in the parking lot and steal his puppy.

I just think that if I make eye contact with a Bellringer I should get a smile. An acknowledgement that yes, it is a hard time of year and if you can drop something in the bucket that would be great. But hey? If you can't? That's OK too. I should NOT get hateful glares and a louder, firmer shaking of the bell. Like I didn't fucking hear when I got out of my car. It takes away from what few happy feelings I have about the holiday season when I am served a side of guilt-trip. And that really makes me feel fucking festive.

If "festive" is another word for "rage".

Fat is Contagious You know

I work in a plus-sized women's clothing store. I LOVE when "thin" women come in and make a big production about how they don't shop at this store. They are here shopping for someone else. Who is not them. Because they are not fat. (I say "thin" in parentheses because we start at a size 14. Which is not fat. And sometimes the women that come in are at least a 14, if not a 16, which is typically carried in stores that do not sell exclusively to plus size women) And I really, really, get off telling them, WELL YOU COULD SHOP HERE! And I see the panic spread across their face.

"No I couldn't! I'm just here shopping for my daughter-in-law! SHE'S the fat one!"

"I don't want your emails! I don't want to get emails from some FAT PEOPLE'S STORE!"

"WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING IF I WANT YOUR EMAILS???!!!! I DOOOOON'T!!!!!"

Why do I keep pushing you further and further over the ledge? I wish it was because I was teaching you a lesson. But really it's just because I can. And I am enjoying the show.

My New Apartment

View From Doorway.

Vanity. Where Homework Will Be Done.

View from door of bathroom.

My SPECTACULAR shower curtain. For $16.99, it should be.

Upper view of sink and my shelves. Please notice legs in mirror since I had to stand on a stool to take this picture.

40 degrees and getting colder

This is my grumpy-morning-nosleep-waiting-inthecar-for-my-goddamn-coffee-face. Isn't it pretty?

A hair dryer was found.

All is right in my world. I am still covering it with a hat but it is oh-so-dry.

I'm in Connecticut

I am in my best friend's childhood house in Connecticut trying to sleep over the sound of her and her mother screaming at each other in Spanish. We have to get up at 7am to go to her old college. I was informed that there is no hair dryer in the house. I am suddenly thinking that I might not enjoy my day in New York as much as I thought I would. SAD.

Operation Clean New Bathroom

Or as D. said, Operation Bank Robber. I'm pretty sure the cops would be able to locate me by putting out an APB out on my forehead. Look at the size of that sucker. I think that's what they call a fivehead. Yeesh.