Thursday, November 15, 2012

Bra Wars

I'm home from work and all I desperately want to do is take my bra off but when you're in the throes of moving you have people coming over constantly to look at furniture they have no intention actually buying but they've been emailing you back and forth ALL DAY about exactly when they plan on not coming and you can't really not wear a bra when there are strangers coming over where else do you keep your box cutter so I'm home and I have a sweater on that I had a shirt on underneath and already took the undershirt off but the sweater is low cut and it's all HELLO PLAID BRA DID YOU WANT TO SEE MY PLAID BRA and I put a scarf on and am generally wondering if it wouldn't be easier to burn the dresser in the fire pit outside except that would involve MOVING THE DRESSER which I am selling specifically so I don't have to move the dresser because that fucker is heavy and I don't like to lift heavy things.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Job Perks

You know, I specifically didn't have kids so I wouldn't have to clean up another persons shit.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

I don't know why you thought screaming would help

As I was leaving work last night a woman was storming around screaming that we were all incompetent because of things that are not on sale that she wanted to be on sale but we would not ring up on sale for her.


I'm sure you don't have any other pent up issues that need working out lady.

It's alllll us.

But thank you for screaming and asking for my name and TELLING ME STRAIGHT TO MY FACE that you will be calling the corporate office to get me in trouble.

You are a great person. I'm so glad there were 2 other supervisors and a pharmacist that witnessed your temper tantrum so I sincerely doubt I'll be in trouble.

Really, I applaud the effort you are willing to put into getting a total stranger into trouble because you could not scream your way into getting what you want and certainly were not entitled to.***

***To be clear, something she brought up was not marked as a clearance item, she dragged me to the home location, screaming that we had incompetent workers, and IT WAS THE LAW that we give it to her, and when we got over there, there was no clearance sign anywhere near the other 10 same items on the shelf. At which point I thought, hey, she might feel stupid, so in my approaching a dog that clearly has rabies voice, I said "Sometimes people put things in the wrong spot and I'm sorry it's confusing...." TO WHICH she whipped around and said yelled "WELL MAYBE IF YOUR EMPLOYEES FACED THE STORE THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN."

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Hippie Hypocrite

I actually admired the clearly crunchy granola, coupon clipper, hemp bag using, dreadlocks having hippie for being so environmentally conscious. I was actually berating myself on my way through the parking lot. Then I look up and see her climbing into a YELLOW HUMMER.  I couldn't help but yell YOU FUCKING HUMMER DRIVING HIPPIE HYPOCRITE!!!

Anger Management

You know you have anger issues when you get aggressive with a pregnant lady over 13 cents.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

New Apartment-Empty

Lovely counter

Bright living room that was immediately covered with curtains. 

See how bright? How could we watch tv?

The living room has a door, that never closes, but am oddly delighted to have.

Amazing raging river behind the house.

Laundry! In the basement! That only I use!

Lots of doors, going to the backyard....

Not my bedroom.

My bedroom. No radiator, thank goodness.

Kitchen nook. 

Backyard, that we have sat in once.

Obsessive Compulsive

I can spend whole days off thinking that my whole life will be put in order if I just put the couch on the other wall! OF COURSE! That is what has been missing!