Listen HONEY

You might think being 80 years old entitles you say 'Listen HONEY' like a pimp might say 'Listen HO' to a HO that owes him his cut, but I am here to tell you right now I will kick that walker right out from underneath you.

Dear American Express Gift Card Customer Service Guy

Please don't tell me to call back in "approximately one half hour because systems are down and can not access any information at this time" and then in the next breath ask if there is anything else you can help me with.

When my only response is "OH! I'm sorry!!! WAS there actually something you can help me with???" You should consider yourself really fucking lucky I'm at work.