The Loofah Story

So I used to live with 2 guys. They were both friends that I had known for over 7 years, and yes, I slept with both of them. Just throwing that out there. That we already had, so when I moved in, there was no mystery, no sexual intrigue causing us to flirt with each other. It's weird to say like 'brother and sister' because the brothers and sisters I know don't do that. At least, not that they are admitting to. But bottom line was, it wasn't weird in a sexual way. It was awful in that they were both DISGUSTING guys and I am a clean girl. I can stand messy just not dirty. And my friends were DIRTY. Food could be left on the coffee table for days, the trash seemed to live in a constant state of overflow, and this is where I talk about the shower.

***Side Note: My friend inherited this house from his grandmother and he was married for a short time. When he got divorced, my other friend and I moved in. We paid rent (and I to this day thought that was BULLSHIT since he owned the house outright but I needed a place to live) and the rent money was supposed to go towards the restoration of the house. The grandmother hadn't updated the house for over 50 years. So the bathroom was pretty gross. Added to this was the fact that Friend that owned the house and Friend's father had ripped the molding around the window off one day to replace it...only the never got around to the replacing part. So, yick.****

So the plumbing in the shower was all kinds of messed up. Like the water would immediately start to build up when you stepped into shower and sllooowwwllly drain as you were in there. Which always left a nice ring of scum around the bathtub. Being the freak that I am, I eventually got it down to a routine. After I showered and would be blow drying my hair, the tub would drain, and I could then use a small stream of water to rinse sides and then a paper towel to clean up any excess. This is important because it showed how much thought I put into the boys not having to step into whatever was washed off my body when they stepped into the shower. Naturally, they could not show this consideration to me. Every time I would open the shower curtain there would be a scream of disgust at HOW COULD YOU LEAVE THE BATHROOM THIS WAY MY GOD! And I would pull one of them out of bed to clean the shower (apparently that made a bitch?) So I finally got to the point where I wouldn't clean the shower after I showered, which really showed no one because they didn't care what they stepped in.

So my solution is to wear flip flops. In my own shower. And Friend that owned the house's ex-wife had left behind a loofah. And they had been divorced for several months at this point and the loofah was still in the shower. I figured he was either lazy or having a really hard time letting go in a creepy way. But I would step into that dirty shower every morning with my flip flops and drop that dirty loofah into that dirty tub and rub it around the drain to loosen up the scum and then rinse it out. I would replace loofah and move on. Well, over the next few weeks, Friend's schedule changed so that we were both getting ready for work at the same time. I would shower and then he would shower while I was getting ready (hair drying, makeup, etc) And one day he got into the shower and I returned to the bathroom. He then poked his head out from behind the curtain and sang "Someones been using my loofah!"