Things I have had to apologize for lately--Volume 1

I'm sorry that I sighed a little when you told me you had the change for 88 cents and you started to count it out in pennies.

I'm so sorry YOU brought up the wrong item that isn't the one on sale. It's not like there are fucking sale signs or anything.

I'm sorry you are don't understand the concept of shutting the fuck up and PAY ATTENTION TO THE CUSTOMER IN FRONT OF YOU, but I am your new boss so you can suck it.

I'm sorry that I made you wait in your turn in line when you tried to cut and I saw and said SHE WAS NEXT. That was "extremely rude" of me.

I'm sorry that you passed along a customer service issue to me and when you criticized how I handled it I informed you if you pass shit on to me you don't have a say in what I do.

I'm sorry that same issue you passed along to me that you couldn't handle while the woman was screaming took me ten minutes to handle and we were laughing hysterically by the end of it and she was totally happy. That must be the part you don't agree with.

I'm sorry you are so offended that we had to verify who you were before we let you take home your medication. We totally suck.

I'm sorry that I can't give you anymore information about the $10 prepaid cell phone you are AGONIZING over whether or not to buy, but really, it's been like 45 minutes.

I am sorry I don't share the same hatred with you about THE MAN WHO HIRED ME, but trust me, there are plenty of other people I hate. Like you.

I'm sorry you are so smart and so intelligent that the only way you can make yourself feel like that is to try and make me feel like you are smarter and more intelligent than me.

I'm sorry you will never be successful at that.