Sunday, March 6, 2011

Reasons I hate my roommate, in no particular order

He never does his dishes right away.
He sneaks a load of laundry in whenever someone else is doing theirs.
He takes other peoples laundry out of the washer to put his in, then leaves for the weekend.
(I'm he does this in the hope that someone else will finish it for him.)
He has bought toilet paper and paper towels exactly ONCE since he moved in 9 months ago.
He has not cleaned the bathroom, common area, or kitchen floor since he moved in.
Whenever the other roommates or I make dinner we always offer some to everyone. Whenever HE makes dinner, he NEVER offers anyone anything.
He has a female "friend" that he's "hanging out with" and she comes over late and they get rip-roaring drunk and are loud all freaking night.
He and his "friend" take a shower together in the morning. BEFORE everyone else uses it.
He comes home tired from work and takes up the whole freaking living room.
He has the most amazing dog in the world that I am convinced is my soulmate and he is so jealous that he takes the dog with him to grocery store, so not to leave the dog with me.
He has no problem expecting me to let the dog out to do his business in the freezing winter but when the dog snuggles on the couch with me he looks at me with such hate I recoil.
He YELLS at the dog, calling him a fucking idiot, because the dog doesn't want to be around his angry energy.
His room smells bad.
I hate his face.

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