Musings

I wonder if people drive a certain way intending to cause accidents? Like the morons that shoot halfway into the lane I'm driving in and then stop. And the roads are icey so I have to slam on my breaks and they are looking at me while they are stopped? And stare? Like they aren't blocking the lane? And just when I come to a complete stop, they take off.

The thing is? If they just went? I wouldn't be worried that I was about to die. EVERY TIME I LEAVE MY HOUSE.

Bad Boss

LaVonda was just sitting there minding her own business and said, "I have to go to the bathroom."

And I screamed, "DON'T YOU DARE I JUST CLEANED IT!!!!!!"

Maybe I am not the level-headed boss I think I am?

Musing

I don't feel I should have to be nice to a woman (after I have explained 8 times that she is in a plus size womens clothing store and that's why the clothes don't fit her)and she continues to try on clothes, and asking for my opinion.

Lady? They are too Fucking Big. Get out.

Dear Laundry Mat employee

Your full body sigh does not deter from the fact that the washing machine I put my clothes in does not have any water flowing in it. The faster you move, the faster I will stop yelling.

Dear Walmart cashier

Thank you for being so put out when I ask for my bag of merchandise THAT I JUST PURCHASED. It must have been really hard to spin that Lazy Susan your bags are on instead of just HANDING ME my candle.

Check out new earrings

My new earrings that go with my awesome new hair.

Musings

Would it be wrong to tape a note to the dryer that says:

"Thank you to whoever took my damp clothes out of the dryer and folded them. And put them on top of the disgusting washing machine. And an extra-special thank you for paying particular attention to my underwear and laying each one of them out so smoothly. I now have to rewash EVERYTHING.

Love,
Michelle"

Do you think that would alienate my neighbors?