Sorry bout the delay....

So the holidays have left me.....spent. All the things that I normally could see the humor in were replaced with a black cloud that just left me feeling more bitter by the day. The meaner people were, the more I took it personally, even though from 10 years in retail I know I shouldn't. So instead of writing about it, I bottled it up, slept a lot, and was very hard to be around what with all the swearing and general grumpy disposition. I was not looking forward to the holiday party I got roped into having at my small studio apartment, but I sucked it up and had people over. And you know? It was fun. I drank too much and laughed a lot. I am lucky to say that I like 90% of the people I work with and it was nice to have them over.

My friend C mentioned that I have not updated my blog, and since she and D are the only ones that read it, I guess if they noticed I should pick it up again. But feeling uninspired? How do you battle that? Or feeling whatever you post isn't good enough because what if people do start reading it? And they think it sucks? What then? I know that a blog is really a place for you to write out your thoughts and it's YOURS, but I don't know. There are tons of drafts started, maybe I'll revisit those and try to get some funny stuff up before C's brain pops out of her head.

Help!

Christmas Party. Tomorrow. At My House.

Can't. Stop. Panicking.

Creepy Christmas

My landlord slipped a handwritten card under my door. I find this strange. I was wondering if I was the only one that got one. So I may have gone over to my neighbor's door who I know was out of town for the holidays and slipped a letter opener around to see if he has one waiting.

Didn't feel one.

So is this normal? I really want to say no. My friend C said a generic happy holidays! card would have been appropriate but this was just plain weird. I hope I don't have to move.

Oh the holly jolly season

I'm sitting at a Panara Bread using their Internet to try and get my homework done. But everyone else here is using the Internet so it's very sllloooowww and that just won't do. Also, my computer wasn't really charged and ALL the outlets are occupied. And since the staff at Panara are too busy feeling each other up to enforce the whole "if someone is waiting for a table and you've been here more than 1/2 an hour please move" policy, I am not going to get anything done. Plus it's really hard to concentrate here. Not really because of the people because I put in my headphones to tune them out. But there is one disgruntled employee that has taken out his anger for having to work at Panara in the first place by SLAMMING the cabinet doors where the supplies are kept under the soda machine every time he has to open one. Which apparently is once every 30 seconds. And this isn't a normal SLAM! either. After the 3rd time the SLAM! made me leap out of my seat I looked at him the next time he walked by. Imagine someone bringing their arm back back behind their head and swinging it forward like they were about to bitch-slap the piece of shit that just ran over your dog. Or knocked up your woman. Or took the last mother-fucking straw and you have to refill the straw holder for the TENTH TIME TODAY!

SSSSSSSLLLLLLLAAAAAAAMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, he must feel really good about it but I am one more slam away from an anxiety attack. How am I the only one bothered by this? Where is his boss? Oh yeah, he has just come back from his 4th trip to Market Basket since I've been here to purchase bread for Panara BREADS sandwiches.

Two things:

1) Part of the allure of Panara is their delicious bread. So if they are running over to the grocery store to pay $1.50 for a loaf of bread that they will then slap on a $7 sandwich, it kinda feels like a jip. Like, if I wanted that shit bread I would just go home and take it out of my cabinet.

2) Massachusetts just went through an ICE STORM. Hundreds of thousands still don't have power and have to sustain themselves and their families on dry food (Like BREAD) until their power comes on and they can cook again. Doesn't it seem really shitty that a place that is capable of BAKING THEIR OWN BREAD is raping the grocery store out of all of their cheap bread? And then people who went to the grocery store for bread that they no longer have, now have to come over to Panara and pay $7 for some schmuck that slams cabinets to make them a sandwich on that shitty bread?

Enough With the Fucking Bells Already

It's not that I don't believe in giving to charity. If anything, I am more likely to donate time, money, or presents to a charity or deserving human being rather than to my ungrateful/selfish sister.

It's just that there is a Salvation Army bell ringer outside almost every store I frequent. I couldn't possibly put money in every single one of them. (Not that I'd really want to if we are being totally honest) But nothing really dampens my spirit like being glared at by a mother fucking Bellringer outside the grocery store. (Or Walmart. Or outside every mall entrance. Or inside the mall.)

They are glaring at me like I traipsing past them clutching my shopping bags screaming with delight over all the fantastic treats I just got myself. And how fucking happy I am that I don't have to share them with any stinky-needy families. And that they just watched me push a kid down in the parking lot and steal his puppy.

I just think that if I make eye contact with a Bellringer I should get a smile. An acknowledgement that yes, it is a hard time of year and if you can drop something in the bucket that would be great. But hey? If you can't? That's OK too. I should NOT get hateful glares and a louder, firmer shaking of the bell. Like I didn't fucking hear when I got out of my car. It takes away from what few happy feelings I have about the holiday season when I am served a side of guilt-trip. And that really makes me feel fucking festive.

If "festive" is another word for "rage".