Reasons I hate my roommate, in no particular order

He never does his dishes right away.

He sneaks a load of laundry in whenever someone else is doing theirs.

He takes other peoples laundry out of the washer to put his in, then leaves for the weekend.

(I'm he does this in the hope that someone else will finish it for him.)

He has bought toilet paper and paper towels exactly ONCE since he moved in 9 months ago.

He has not cleaned the bathroom, common area, or kitchen floor since he moved in.

Whenever the other roommates or I make dinner we always offer some to everyone. Whenever HE makes dinner, he NEVER offers anyone anything.

He has a female "friend" that he's "hanging out with" and she comes over late and they get rip-roaring drunk and are loud all freaking night.

He and his "friend" take a shower together in the morning. BEFORE everyone else uses it.

He comes home tired from work and takes up the whole freaking living room.

He has the most amazing dog in the world that I am convinced is my soulmate and he is so jealous that he takes the dog with him to grocery store, so not to leave the dog with me.

He has no problem expecting me to let the dog out to do his business in the freezing winter but when the dog snuggles on the couch with me he looks at me with such hate I recoil.

He YELLS at the dog, calling him a fucking idiot, because the dog doesn't want to be around his angry energy.

His room smells bad.

I hate his face.

Valentine's Day

It was so amazing to have lines of men stretched out into the aisles in front of every register clutching cards and boxes of chocolates and teddy bears to prove to their women that they DID NOT FORGET VALENTINE'S DAY.

My new blog address

sweetlikeantifreeze.tumblr.com

It might be temporary, but I have been pressured into joining tumblr, if only to have more people see the things I write. I'm not really sure how I feel about it yet.

Here On Earth by Alice Hoffman is my favorite book. I read it every October and it moves me every single time.

The Ex-Files

Setting: Drunken hookup in partial stages of undress and gropage.

Him: I just love your big fat ass.
Me: (Pausing)
Him: (Staring in wide-eyed horror) Wait...oh God..Wait. I didn't mean that the way it came out.
Me: That's OK. I get it.
Him: Really?
Me: Yeah. It's like how I really love how easy it is to get my hand around your cock.

Me: I have an idea.
Dave: I'm on board.
Me: You don't know what it is yet.
Dave: Doesn't matter.
Me: It involves you, a tube of toothpaste, and a strap-on.
Dave: Still on board.

An almost full 6 months later

Sooo...It's been 6 months and this is actually my 100Th post so I thought I'd recap for everyone where I am since the last one.

I didn't tape up the dining room to paint the trim. I bought carpet cleaner but that furniture was too far gone to be saved. I did move the dining room table in from the porch and even bought it a pretty tablecloth. I have NOT taken the tape off the walls in my bedroom. In fact, I think it adds to the charm. (And I can't reach it anyway.) I have given up on the kitchen furniture ever flowing properly until I get new furniture and THAT'S not gonna happen. I don't think I went next door and watched TV either.

That's about where I am.